‘You can love each other, but if you don’t like each other…’
What do you do then?
* * * * *
It was exactly how today was supposed to be: I had planned to surprise him with yummy food because he’s been having a cold. I don’t remember how I got to his apartment but I went upstairs as per usual, and there was no one. Surprising, since he had told me he’d be spending the day in bed. So I waited. I pulled out my laptop, did some revision. I felt so uneasy; something was wrong. I felt like calling him, but I still wanted the element of surprise to be on my side. Maybe he decided to go to the pharmacy after all, right?
He walked in, dressed in a very streetwear manner which he never does, laughing. And a girl in tow. I was shocked, and I didn’t know what to say. He tried to hide his surprise too, and came over to kiss me, but it was obvious that this other girl wasn’t just a friend. I started crying, and I wanted him to let go of me. The whole room was squeezing the life out of me and I just wanted to leave.
Then he looked me straight in the eye, and told me of all the things this tiny, cute girl with long brown curly hair wanted to do with him that I didn’t. And what could I say? I was completely shut out. It was late and I needed to get back to uni. I climbed into the van reluctantly and asked his friend to take me to the city. He said many harsh words on the short journey back to the city; then it all just blurred out from there.
I woke up to my phone ringing. It was him. As I told him about the dream, tears ran down my face.
‘Where am I gonna find someone as perfect as you?’
She was perfect.
And it was so, so real. I still feel it now; this sense of disquiet sitting on my chest.
